Thursday, February 02, 2006

My wife pointed out to me the irony of distributing "Slavery
Reinstated" on the first day of February, Black History Month. And
that got me thinking. I don't do enough to celebrate Black History Month. So this
year, I amgoing to commemorate these sacred days by unveiling something that I've
been thinking about for a long time. Moments in history...political
philosophy...random thoughts...

I call it...

"The Musings of a New Millenium Nigga"

February 2, 2006

First of all, fuck R. Kelly! And fuck all niggas who have uttered
these phrases:

Yeah, but the album is hot.

You can't really tell if that's him in the video. (Meanwhile they
bought the dvd because it said "R. Kelly Sex Tape")

Let us remember that the LA Riots (aka The LA Uprising) were caused
because Black people couldn't believe that a white jury could watch a
video and deny what was clear for all to see. Hello. The man is on video pissing
ongirls and he won an NAACP Image Award! While I'm ranting...Fuck the
NAACP, too!

Only a people who hate their girls could possibly embrace this goddamn

And for the record...R. Kelly is a grown Black man who hates Black
women so much that he literally pisses on Black girls. He is also the
man who brought the world a ghetto opera centered around some brothers on the
down low called... and you can't make this shit up...It's called "Trapped in
the Closet!" Wake up, Black people!

Say it with me. FUCK R. KELLY! (pronounced ar-ruh kell-ee)

Tomorrow's installment: FUCK AL SHARPTON!

To unsubscribe from this service, simply respond to this email with the
subject line "Fuck off, you mad Black man!"


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am so down with Fuck R. Kelly and Fuck the NAACP. They are so misguided and stuck in 1967 that it pisses me off to think someone may actually think they represent me. As for R. Kelly, Black people are notorious for sacrificing our women/girls for Black men. I mean, we (Black women) need to let them be men so it's okay if they piss on us, literally and figuratively.

If I hear one more time about how a sistah (usually spoken by a Black woman) needs to let a brotha be a man, I'll puke. I don't think anyone has to let (as in allow) a Black woman be a woman. We just do it ... like Nike says! Because if we didn't, the so-called Black community would be in worse shape than it already is. Anyway, let me jump off my soapbox before I really get going. Chris Rock summed it up perfectly: "I love Black people but I hate niggas!" And, R. Kelly is definitely a NIGGER, or NIGGA if we're keeping it real!

Ohh ... I can't wait for the next installment!


9:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Fuck ar-ruh kell-ee!!!! I am down with that. Very nice let's celebrate the month! I enjoyed reading yesterday’s and today's installments. A bit of irony to the slave title at my job is "Director of Field Services"...I wonder if I will be able to keep it...only the master knows :)

Kwame Dow

9:02 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This reminds me of a friend's column on When you have a moment, please take the time to read - new ones come out every Tuesday afternoon. If you appreciate Orlando's musings (as I do) then you will also appreciate Mo'Kelly's column.

Thank you for enlightening us all, Mr. Bishop, and I wait with baited breath for the next installment...


9:03 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...


Oh my god! Jip and I were just reveling in our recent victory of having the NSA disengage their spy ware from our house. (For those of you who didn’t know, in his senior year jip wrote his thesis on the proliferation of crack cocaine in poor black neighborhoods by the CIA. He got an A on the paper and even though his professor said he sent it back to him, we never received ed it.) And with the recent leak about domestic spying, we thought we were off the hook for sure. That is until this email. Now here you go - readin. They put that information on slavery away in a place they knew most niggas wouldn’t find it – a book – and here you are readin’. What the fuck? As I opened my email, I just knew I heard the clicking of mics and camera’s powering back on. Now luckily I think you confused the Man by fucking the NAACP (they don’t know which side you’re actually on), but you really got to keep quiet on that edumacation. You might be getting a little too uppity. First a degree from the Ivy League, then a Latino nanny, now this.

I’m not sayin. I’m just sayin…


9:04 PM  
Blogger ceymick said...

Ok, look, pissing on bitches is wrong in every way possible, and the NAACP is out of their fucking mind, and R. Kelly should probably be in a prison or an institution. That being said, "Trapped in the Close" is one of the most brilliant videos ever. Not in any intentionally sense of the word "brilliant," but the unintentional comedy is simply off-the-charts.

"I said 'move,' she said 'no.' I said 'move,' she said 'no.' 'Bitch move!' She moved."

Come on!

12:47 PM  
Blogger New Millennium Nigga said...


I must admit that you are right. I had to TiVo the first five just so that when I was down, I could have a pick-me-up. "I swallowed my spit"?!?!?! This shit is classic.

And the best part is the people who describe it as deep. "Trapped In The Closet" is about as deep as puddle.

2:02 PM  

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