Friday, February 03, 2006

MUSINGS OF A NEW MILLENIUM NIGGA

February 3, 2006

Welcome back. It seems no one has replied with the "Fuck off, you mad
Black man" option, so you're all still being subjected to "Musings of a
New Millennium Nigga". (I apologize for spelling millennium with one 'n'
yesterday. No one mentioned catching it, but I know how picky you
educated negroes can be about little things like correct spelling.)

Anyway, earlier this week, I read that Rev. Al Sharpton is demanding an
apology from Aaron McGruder for his portrayal of Dr. King in a recent
episode of "The Boondocks." Apparently, he did not like that Dr. King
used the word "nigger" when he had to scream to get the attention of a
bunch of niggers who were too busy doing nigger shit (e.g. drinking, dancing,
fighting) to get to the work of the new political party that Dr.King
and Huey were trying to form. I saw the episode and I can only say
this:

First of all...FUCK AL SHARPTON!

But in this instance, I thought it would be best to address Rev.
Sharpton in an open letter.


Dear Rev. Al,

First of all, fuck you! Who the fuck is you...? (Ebonics intentional.
Don't you dare correct me.) Who the fuck is you to be questioning
Aaron McGruder's artistic expression. Who the fuck died and left you
in charge?

Well, I guess Dr. King and Malcolm X did. But isn't that the point.
Even those of us who like you have to admit that -- as Chris Rock
stated first -- as a Black leader, you ain't nothin' more than a fuckin'
substitute teacher.

Let's be real. Your hair alone is an affront to the very notion of
Black pride. Yeah...I said it. Promise to James Brown or no promise
to James Brown, that fried, dyed and laid to the side shit is one of the
worst hair-don'ts in the public eye today.

But back to the matter at hand. What is with you civil rights era
muthafuckas? Boy, oh boy. Cedric makes a joke about Rosa Parks not
being the first nigga who ever was tired on a bus (and it's a fact that
others had stood their ground before her, you revisionist bastards!)
and you're all up in arms. Aaron McGruder departs from the quaint, comfortable
"I-Have-A-Dream-Black-History-Moment-Did-You-Know-Some-Nigga-You-Never-Heard-Of-Invented-The-Street-Light"
approach to commemorating the King holiday and you want an apology.

Well, guess what? I want an apology from you! Not only for attacking
one of the few niggas in the media or in entertainment who is willing
to let the shit be broke on political topics, but for being so stuck in the
yesterday of the March on Washington and the Montgomery Bus Boycott
that you are forgetting what niggas are up against today. Chris Rock...Aaron
McGruder...They have it right. I love my niggas. But I HATE NIGGERS!
I hate the smell of Krystal and Courvoisier on their breath as they
regale me with tales of their baby mama drama and drug deals that they
were never really a part of in real life. I hate the way they respect guns and
shun books. I hate the way they choose to party when the time would be
better spent pondering why half a century after the Voting Rights Act
niggers don't vote!!!

I suspect that Dr. King would be sick of today's niggers and their
bullshit. (And I say "their," but I really mean "our," because we will
either rise together or fall together.) And don't you have some better shit
to do than to be speaking out on some animated series on Comedy Central?
(That's right. Comedy Central. Comedy isn't always going to be tame. See
the late, great Richard Pryor.)

Don't think you need to listen to me? Well, you better. You owe me,
nigga. Do you have any idea what it was like to eat my words in a Bay
Ridge school full of white kids after Tawana Brawley?!?! Muthafucka, I had
your back. And that was pre-hunger strike. That was a lot of back...A
LOT!

For that shit alone, you should be doin' my laundry once a month.

In conclusion...Don't like the idea of Dr. King using the word "nigger"
to reprimand a bunch of niggers for acting like niggers? Well, get to
work on gettin' niggers to stop actin' like such goddamn niggers all
the time, my nigga. And leave niggas like Aaron McGruder the fuck alone.


Your Nigga,

Orlando Bishop


p.s. Nice job at the convention. Your speech was on point.

p.p.s. Seriously, do something about the hair. It's hurting the cause.

4 Comments:

Blogger ceymick said...

Right on point! Although the anal-retentive in me must point out that The Boondocks is on The Cartoon Network, not Comedy Central, which makes the "attack" on it even funnier.

12:57 PM  
Blogger ceymick said...

Whoops - shoulda' read the next post to see you already caught never. Never me mind....

12:57 PM  
Anonymous CPR said...

Right on. As a white nigga (Irish-American), I couldn't agree more. And you can write! Maybe you should consider putting together Stuff Black Folk Like. Get yourself a big old book deal like the dudes who do Stuff White People Like.

10:55 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

yo nice too see a blackman commenting on a nigger if i maybe permitted to use the wordmi so tired of this assholes bullshit imis did nothing comic about the monkey was questionable but the judge who calledthe officer nigger !!!!!!! wheres dumb ass on that one

4:44 PM  

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