Friday, February 24, 2006

A Word From Our Sponsor

Tired of the same old diet solutions that never seem to work? Would you like to experience an ecstasy equivalent to a 10-minute orgasm? Feeling overly burdened by your Earthly possessions, a condition commonly known as "golden handcuffs?"

Well then, ask your doctor about Krakrox. Relatively inexpensive and colossally effective, Krakrox have been changing the lives of Black Americans for years. Now that glorious goodness is available to you over the counter. Whether taken via inhaler, capsule or by classic pipe, you can "Beam up to Scotty" in the tradition of Pookie in "New Jack City." ("It be callin' me, man.")

And for a limited time, Endahude Pharmaceuticals is offering Pink Tops, the most effective Krakrox available on the market today. Those other pharmaceutical niggas got garbage down the way, son. We guarantee that Pink Tops will get you so fucked up that you willingly betray your friends, your family and even yourself...or your money back. (What the hell? We'll get it eventually. We get niggas on the comeback.)

But that's not all! The first 100 customers who respond to this offer will get a special introductory rate of 2 for $5. You heard right. You can lose that pesky weight...your dignity...your teeth...and your appliances...for the low, low introductory price of $5. That's only a fraction of the cost of the clothes and jewels you used to use to feel better about yourself. And at some locations, you can even trade your clothes and jewels for...that's right...MORE KRAKROX!

So shed that excess weight...around your waist...and in your wallet! Leave your kids at yo momma's, grab your VCR, head down to your doctor's office and ask him to prescribe Krakrox: the temporary fix to the inner-city blues.

This message is brought to you by the CIA...(allegedly) the original Krakrox pushers...I mean, suppliers.


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