Friday, February 10, 2006

We Do Not Interrupt This Broadcast

February 10, 2006

This past Tuesday, Coretta Scott King, a proponent of justice in this world and wife of Boondocks-maligned civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr., was sent off to her final resting place. And she indeed must have needed the rest after a lifetime of work that benefitted all people, but especially Black people in this country.

And that's why I say...

First of all...Fuck BET!

Did you know that BLACK Entertainment Television chose not to broadcast Coretta Scott King's funeral? For the love of God... Fox News, the home of Sean "This Is My Playground, Now Get Over Here And Take Your Public Wedgie, you damn liberal" Hannity, aired the funeral. And if they hadn't, I would have been calling all sorts of people all kinds of racists...from Bill O'Reilly to Rupert Murdoch to Vicente Fox...and he doesn't even have anything to do with Fox News. That just happens to be his name. (Although, I know I'm supposed to be mad at him for saying that Black people don't want to do shitty jobs. Which we don't. But it was racist to say. I think. I don't know. Ask Jesse.)

George W. Bush attended...and spoke...and Kanye has already established that Dubya doesn't even care about Black people.

"There must be something more to this story," I thought after receiving the email that alerted me to this travesty. "There must be some really important shit going down on BET if the funeral of the first lady of civil rights didn't make the cut." So I tuned in last night to take in some of the mind-expanding goodness and watched some "Comic View":

Raucous laughter dies down as the WHITE COMEDIAN on stage wraps up.

WHITE COMEDIAN: ...and now I'll reference some rap song, raise the roof and throw on my "Black" voice and attitude. Isn't that hilarious?

Apparently, it is. The audience loves it. Applause. Laughter. HOST walks onto the stage and takes the mic.

HOST: Wheeeeewwww! Man, that was funny. See, he was White. But he was saying things that Black people say. That's funny. Anyway, the next brother coming to the stage is going to be doing Richard Pryor's jokes using Eddie Murphy's voices and gestures. Welcome to the stage...Generic...Black...Comedian!


GENERIC BLACK COMEDIAN: You know what I noticed. When White people eat, they be like, "Excuse me, sir. Would you happen to have any Grey Poupon?" When Black people eat, they be like, "Hey, man...pass the hot sauce!"

Hysterics. A Big Black Woman who stands in a kitchen set on the side of the stage laughs so hard she cries as she inexplicably stirs a pot of collard greens.


A New MIllennium Nigga stands at the mic.

NEW MILLENNIUM NIGGA: On the White cable outlets, they were paying their respects to a woman who fought to secure the right to vote. On BET, they were voting...on who has the #1 video on "106 & Park". Holla!

People roll in the aisles. Two audience members jump up and start doing the Kid N Play kick step. A Black Man in the front row laughs so hard he goes into cardiac arrest...although that could be from a bad diet and the overall stress of being a Black man in America.

NMN: On the white cable outlets, they were commemorating the life of a woman who was loved by and was in love with one of the great political leaders of all time. On BET, they were celebrating the life and times of T-Pain and Mike Jones who are "N Luv (Wit a Stripper)." [sic] Holla!

The audience erupts. Big Black Woman laughs so hard she cries as she scrubs laundry in a basin at the side of the stage, the handkerchief on her head drenched and stained with sweat.

NMN: On the White cable outlets, they aired the funeral live. On BET, there's a special on Coretta Scott King's funeral and her life the following Sunday, almost a week later. Talk about your CP Time. Holla!

The audience explodes with laughter. Big Black Woman picks cotton on the side of the stage as she laughs so hard, she cries...or is she just crying?


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